Your Writer, Part I

I am the master of my fate.

I am the captain of my soul.

Who is she?

The Reason You Come.

Filipino. You’ll be surprised, though.

Motto: “Love yourself (not god, not others) above all .”

The motto above does not make her a bitch. It makes her complete. And more interesting than the next girl.

Analyzes anything and everything, which sometimes results in a headache. Gives her friends a headache, too.

Always up for an adventure. Ready to cross several lines. But intelligent enough to discern which lines can be crossed and which lines are just not worth crossing.

A stickler for detail when it comes to grammar and punctuation.

What you see is what you get. Sometimes. Sometimes, you don’t get what you see. Sometimes, you don’t see anything at all. Sometimes, you just won’t get it.

Appreciates sentimental bullshit sometimes.

The cynical romantic.

A paradox.

Daydreamer. Not a daydream believer. Yes, there is a difference.

Does not believe in most things. Understands why people believe in most things.

Broad-minded. Tolerant. Open.

Very, very nice and friendly. Can be sweet if you want her to be.

Can be pretty mean, too.

Extraordinary. Or at least, she strives to be.

A babe in total control of herself. Or so she says.

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Audience: Keep it real, girl! The description above sounds so hoity-toity. Get off the high horse and show the real you.

The Reason You Come: Okay, okay, so maybe I seem a little too full of myself sometimes.

Audience: Well, duh?! Not too mention a little too fake.

The Reason You Come: I get the point! Happy? So what do you want me to do?

Audience: Keep it real. Give a no-nonsense, straight-from-the-heart, no-BS, no-holds-barred, just-your-average-girl self description.

The Reason You Come: But I’m not average.

Audience (eyebrows raised): Really, now? Says who?

The Reason You Come: Oh, all right! I’ll give the best and so-not-fake self description I can think of, okay?

Audience: We’re waiting…Enough ado about nothing, girlfriend!

The Reason You Come: But don’t ask me to explain some terms, ayt? It’s kind of a private joke.

The Reason You Come (taking a deep breath): Okay, here goes…I am:

(drumroll, please)

• Swinger
• The clandestine porn star
• Discreet nympho
  
• VJ in the house, yo!
  
• Jaunorexic
• Mirror dancing queen
• Bathroom diva
• Karaoke achievement awardee
  
• Bond paper wannabe
• Relentless blogger
• Accidental writer
  
• The youngest 30-year-old in the world
• Beauty queen sana
• The great pretender
• The One
• The Reason You Come
• Russalicious
• Your dream come true in 30 seconds, baby!

Audience: Still arrogant, we see.

The Reason You Come: Just keepin’ it real, honey. Just keepin’ it real.

Audience: Right.

The Reason You Come: So? Any more questions?

Audience: Now, we won’t ask you to explain some of the terms. Like, we don’t really care! But why do you keep calling yourself The Reason You Come?

The Reason You Come: Because I am.

Audience: You’re what?

The Reason You Come: The reason you come.

Audience: You’re sure?

The Reason You Come: Why are you here then?

Audience: Erhm, all right…yeah, guess we’re kinda curious about you.

The Reason You Come: See? It’s true then. I am The Reason You Come.

Taking a bow now…

——————————

My real motto:

I love big butts,

And I cannot lie.