OH, SHIT!

Oops! I think I have just done a stupid thing. I’ll tell you the story.

I’m at a restaurant. I receive a text from my cousin, asking me if I am online, telling me that there is something I have to see. So I call her. She tells me that she has just received a friend request on Facebook from a girl who, according to the girl’s profile, is in a relationship with our uncle. Now, see, this wouldn’t be a big deal if my uncle were single. But he’s not. He’s married, with 5 kids.

Since the laptop is right in front of me, I go online and immediately check my Facebook account. I have a friend request from her, too. I check her profile, and the girl is young! She’s 26, while my uncle is 47. So what do I do? I’m protective of my cousins, and my first impulse is to wage a war on this potential homewrecker. So I send her a very mean message.

The message is really nasty. It’s titled KAPUTAHAN, which is WHORING in English. In a nutshell, my message is that I think the girl is just an uneducated whore who probably works in a bar…

What you have to understand is that I was not thinking very clearly when I sent the girl the message. I haven’t been thinking clearly these days. I’ve got romance on the brain. Translation: I’ve been thinking about my crush all day, so while I was dealing with the Facebook shit, I was not really thinking at all because my mind was on my crush. Actually, in my normal state of mind, I do not go around calling people names. But I acted on impulse earlier tonight because my brain wasn’t really functioning (only my heart and groins were, hehehe).

And at this very moment, I am really, really wishing that I could find a way to take that message back. Because folks, if the girl is not just imagining it, and she and my uncle are really having an affair, then you know what? MY UNCLE IS GOING TO KILL ME!

OH, SHIT! MY UNCLE IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME!

An Extramarital Affair

A married executive in an engineering company has a mistress on the side.

I am aware that there is nothing remotely earth-shattering about the sentence above. Affairs are very commonplace. In fact, the tale of a faithful married man is probably more newsworthy than that of a philandering man. What is remarkable about this married executive’s extramarital affair is that my friend, who works for the same company as this philanderer, has incriminating evidence of the illicit relationship. She has pictures of him and his mistress in rather, uh, compromising situations. Do not ask me how she got hold of the pictures, I honestly have no idea. What is my role in this drama then, you ask? I have been tasked to blow the lid off the married guy’s immoral activities. I am supposed to email the telltale pictures to the wife. Oh yes, you can call me Deep Throat to this philandering man’s Watergate.

My initial answer was, “Yes, of course, I’ll do it.” Why didn’t I hesitate? To tell you frankly, I thought it would just be a fun thing to do. The following day, however, I began to have reservations. I started to ask myself if blowing the lid off the affair was indeed the right thing to do. Moreover, is it moral? You see, I have a different moral compass. I do not believe in religion, nor in most of the laws that society imposes on people. I’m sorry if you disagree, but morality is relative. I absolutely believe that there is no universal, natural law that dictates what is right and what is wrong. What is unjust in one person’s eyes may be justifiable in another’s. I can point my finger at that executive and say, “You are immoral, and thus, should be punished.” But are extramarital affairs really immoral? Who’s to say that they were not the norm when humanity first came into being? It is so easy to condemn someone when he does something that is so alien to what was ingrained in our psyche when we first became aware of our existence, isn’t it? It is so effortless to believe that the right thing is what our father and mother and their forefathers told us it is. In a hundred years, though, maybe we will be proven wrong, and the philanderer will be proven right. Who knows?

The only thing that is clear to me is, if I ever pushed that Send button and emailed the evidence to the wife, it would be wrong if my only purpose for doing it was that I thought it was fun. I should have a loftier, more altruistic goal. At present, I have none. Maybe I should refrain from pressing that Send button then. Also, my new guru tells me it is none of my fucking business, so I should just keep my nose out of it.

Let’s make use of Poll Daddy, shall we? Please answer the question below.