I’ve migrated this blog. I’m still using WordPress, I’m loyal to it. But I’m self-hosting now. The new URL’s http://beatofmydrum.com. See you there! :) To my dear subscribers, would it be too much to ask that you subscribe to my new blog? I promise to try to be more interesting! ;) You can subscribe via Feedburner (RSS or email), or through Google Friend Connect. I’m keeping this blog, but I’ll no longer post here. In the coming week, http://thebeatofmydrum.com will redirect to the new site.
I haven’t been posting lately, both here and on my blog on Tumblr. It doesn’t mean I’m done blogging, or have lost interest. Not at all! In fact, the reason I’ve been so busy is that I’m migrating this blog, which I’ve had since 2006, to a self-hosted WordPress blog. I figured, since I love blogging so much, why not get a host, install the latest WordPress software, and have free reign? With a self-hosted blog, everything’s your call. I’m realizing, though, that when everything’s your call, you have to do all the work. You’re responsible for backing up your database, making sure your site is secure and spam-free, etc. So that’s what I’ve been busy with lately, aside from my work in the real world and my marriage. I’ve been busy designing the layout of my Beat, installing plugins, importing my posts from WordPress.com. As soon as my site goes live, I’ll post the link to my new blog.
I will maintain my Tumblr site.
I will no longer maintain this when my new site goes live, but everything here is being transferred to the new blog. My current domain is thebeatofmydrum.com. I bought a new domain, but thebeatofmydrum.com will redirect to Beat of my Drum when the latter goes live.
I surely have missed interacting with you guys! :) I’ll be posting again, at least once this week. I’ll also visit other poets and bloggers I haven’t been able to say hi to the past week. And I’ll definitely join this week’s Poets Rally!
I’ve migrated this blog. I’m still using WordPress, I’m loyal to it. But I’m self-hosting now. The new URL’s http://beatofmydrum.com. See you there! :)
To my dear subscribers, would it be too much to ask that you subscribe to my new blog? I promise to try to be more interesting! ;) You can subscribe via Feedburner (RSS or email), or through Google Friend Connect.
I’m keeping this blog, but I’ll no longer post here. In the coming week, http://thebeatofmydrum.com will redirect to the new site.
Don’t cry, stop staring at the wall
Go sing yourself a lullaby
Cradle your heart in your arms
Lay your head on the floor
Breathe the scent of the night in
The sky isn’t falling
No matter what the voices say
Or what yesterday left you with
When it turned your roses blue
Made your pillows wet
And the bed too big for you
In your loneliness, in dreams
Thrown out in a black trash bag
For the next stranger to pick up
For the next wayward soul to build
From scratch the second time around
Maybe there’ll be wishes still
Not just remnants of tears
From eyes too tired to close
The sky won’t fall
Rock yourself to sleep
Tom Baker, author of Morning Erection, featured one of my poems on Poetic License’s February edition. The poem is Mating Call. Check out Poetic License to read my poem and other romantic and sensual poets’ works! :)
Ambitious was she
When she left early
One morning, all packed
Her bravery all but an act
Unaware of the world, it seems
All she knew was her dreams
In spite of her fears, she’d waited
To get on that plane, breath bated
Her feet were itching to dance
For a crowd in a wide expanse
Of stage where she would create
A story meant to elate
Her tale would be of success
Immortality she’d possess
Yet mortality hit her
And burnt her like sulfur
Her ambitions now fall by the wayside
A reality from which she can’t hide
She can’t drown out the baby’s cries
As the spotlight hides from her eyes
– Finished 21:30, Mla
An entry to Poetry Potluck, for this week’s theme, Aims, Goals, and Ambitions
Day 02 – Something that inspires you
Being married to someone I feel so passionately about inspires me. Our marriage is anything but perfect, and we both have a lot of growing up to do. We’re both stubborn, and we end up arguing when our personalities get in the way of peace and love. At the end of the day, though, I know I’m a much better person for loving my husband and for being with him. I have changed in many ways, and I continue to learn things about myself and to open my mind.
Here are the ways that I’ve grown through love:
- Putting up with domestic minus the bliss
I’ve never been one for domesticity. I don’t know how to cook, clean house, and I didn’t know how to iron my clothes. Now, here I am at the condo we’re leasing, alone when my husband’s in another country (which is most of the time in this long distance relationship). I’m here, sans helpers. I hire the services of a cleaning company every 2-3 weeks for general cleaning, but majority of the time, I have to be the one to clean the mess. My mom, a cleanliness freak, instilled in me a fear and extreme disgust of unclean bathrooms. She doesn’t use her bathroom when it’s not perfectly clean. She finds wet floors abominable (even when it’s just water that’s on the floor). Hence, a statement from me to my husband a few weeks after we got engaged: “Baby, I’m never going to clean bathrooms, ok? NEVER.” “Who’ll do it then?” “You.” This led to an argument, of course, at the end of which he accepted that unclean bathrooms will never be my domain. But guess what? A month ago, some friends told me they were coming over. I tidied up in a hurry, swept the floor, and yes, cleaned the bathroom. And I didn’t even really mind! My, oh my. Does that mean I’m domesticated now? I told the husband, and he laughed with such pleasure. Too much pleasure. Hmp.
This still doesn’t mean that dirty bathrooms and I are going to be great friends anytime in the near or far future.
- Face off
Before I fell in love, I couldn’t leave the house without make-up on. I also wouldn’t go anywhere unless I was in stilettos, not even to buy groceries. Now, I don’t wear lipstick and blush-on anymore. It’s only powder to prevent oiliness. (Because oiliness is next to ugliness, some local showbiz personality said once. I forget who.) I use eye make-up sometimes when I go out with friends, but lipstick and blusher haven’t touched my lips and cheeks in more than a year. I now wear flip-flops to the grocery and the mall. They have to be at least 2 inches tall, though. And I still wear 4-inch heels. But I think love has convinced me that I need neither a mask nor the image of perfection to be loved.
I still am a girly girl, and maybe, I always will be. I’ll never tire of fashion. But I no longer believe that it defines me.
- More love = more poetry
I’ve written poetry since grade school. I seem to be better at dark, sad ones. This is why I thought I wouldn’t be able to write poetry again after I got together with Scott. I was so happy, I thought I wouldn’t have fodder for my writing. Even during fights, I was still happy because I knew I was loved. I thought that was the end of my poetic aspirations then. Surprisingly, I seem to be able to produce more poetry now, and at a faster pace. I’m in love, and I write about love. Well, duh, right? I should have been able to figure that out on day 1 of the story of Scott and me. I didn’t. But now I know that more love = more creativity. I still write about sadness and fear, though. I guess that will always be my forte.
- Hello, politics, the news, and other things outside my universe!
I’ve always been somewhat of a non-conformist. I am, after all, a vegetarian atheist in a country where 92.5% of the population are Christian and maybe 1% are vegetarian (the latter is not based on any research; it’s just an observation). I’ve always had an open mind. I’m not, and don’t think I’ve ever been, judgmental. I love this about myself. The problem is, I’ve never cared about anything outside my world either. If something doesn’t directly affect me, I don’t read about it or talk about it. I don’t even think about it. So yeah, I’m not much for news. I read enough to not be ignorant about current events, but I prefer reading my fiction novels. My husband, however, is an extreme non-conformist. I’ve observed that most non-conformists are principled people. My husband is a very principled man. He’s someone who feels so passionately about a lot of the things that are going on in this world, even when they don’t directly affect him. He reads about some law or some political move that he doesn’t approve of, and I see the indignation in his eyes, hear the fury in his voice. He wants to make right what is wrong in this world. His passion is forcing me to care. I’m quickly realizing that I can’t be with someone so principled and not care. I find it an inconvenience half of the time, and I tell my husband so. But the other half of the time, I actually enjoy thinking about issues and dissecting facts. I admit it only grudgingly, of course. Scott’s going to tell me, “I told you so.” Not that he hasn’t already.
Hello, Drug War! You and I are acquaintances now.
- Honesty makes magic
Our relationship was founded on honesty. From the very beginning, we made a deal that we would be honest with each other 100% of the time. Almost two years later, that is still true. We deal with each other with absolute honesty, and we know that sets us apart from most couples in relationships. There’s no such thing as white lies or big lies. A lie is a lie is a lie. We’ve stuck to that rule, and I must admit it has led to many an argument. It’s not that we argue about lying, almost lying, or wanting to lie. It’s not the issue. Actually, I’ve found that complete honesty is one of the easiest things in this world to achieve. That’s because there’s no thinking required, no trying to come up with an excuse, no pretenses. I just have to tell things as they are. The thing is, sometimes, as Jack Nicholson said, “You can’t handle the truth!” That’s when a fight ensues. In our relationship, we tell each other the truth even when it’s the brutal truth, even when we know it could hurt the other, even when we’re sure the honest answer will cause a rift. There’s no censorship of thoughts even. I ask him, “What are you thinking?” He tells me the truth even when he knows a nicer, modified version will make his life easier. I do the same when he asks me what I’m thinking. My mom tells me complete, absolute, perfect honesty 100% of the time is actually unhealthy, mostly because it can cause unnecessary hurt. If it’s not a big deal, you can cover up the truth, say my mom and most of my friends. But I don’t agree. Neither does my husband. Even with its challenges, honesty is beautiful. I believe that, in spite of the arguments that honesty leads to.
There are other ways, though smaller in extent, that love has inspired and consequently changed me. The five changes I listed above are the major ones. I know that as we continue to grow, the list will grow, too. I’m so excited about this marriage and our future together. I can’t wait to discover more about him, us, and me!
– This is part of 30 Days of Inspiration. If you want to take part in it, click that pink link or the badge in the sidebar.